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wednesday

work: only one cup of coffee, the rest on tea. yay!

sleep: no pills, although didn't sleep until 9pm or so but then it was solid (enough at least) and restful and a good day makes for a good night.


conclusion: less caffeine and more daily satisfaction. righto.
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Ever since San Diego (when I slept poorly but still woke up at my normal ready-for-work time (or close to it), I've been feeling run down.

okok so that minor cold I caught on the plane flight back didn't help but I thought I'd smacked that down fairly well.

Then Thursday I simply COULD NOT GET OUT OF BED. F*ck, I fell asleep twice just trying to dial the phone to call into work sick. This wasn't lazy, this was my body in full on shutdown mode for some good reason.

Wisely, I decided to do nothing on Friday rather than go skiing (good me, good). However, I had a bunch of files to edit and stayed up WAY too late on those.

Saturday was a long tiring cold day and I barely could stay away driving the quick drive home. PATHETIC. Got home, uploaded and sorted some files, tucked myself into bed and for ELEVEN HOURS I woke up every hour or so, or more often.

*runs into a wall repeatedly in hopes of finding true relief*



tonight? DRUGS. I'm barely functional and need my sleep so so badly.


oh, and about 3am I felt a cold sore come on. No really? body stressed out? not at all.
Current Mood:
pissed off pissed off
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Been meaning to get back into this, especially with the sleep issues of the last month or so, but... yeah. Obviously not.

it's been an interesting week as I haven't ridden since last Saturday. As such, body not tired. However I find I’m still sleeping, so far. *crosses fingers* It does take a small bit, but nothing like needing drugs. Yet.

I think I’m out of the Ambien CE in any case. I should ask for more … but it costs a sweet bundle and I’d LIKE to not have to use them. But man when sleep is impossible, that’s the only thing that works. Like a solid smack over the head, but without the resulting headache.

Course, if life were 100% anxiety free, sleep would ALWAYS be easy, right? Eh, probably still not perfect.

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one sleeping pill + one muscle relaxant + riding lesson earlier in the day

=

DAMNED GOOD SLEEP!

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Last night's sleeping pill? NO good. ugh!

Took forever to fall asleep and once I did, it was bloody useless. I woke up a few times, not feeling like I'd gotten ANY decent sleep.

And then? the dreams. HORRID anxiety ridden dreams. Um, no thanks.

So today I feel like day old crap. dried out and worthless. Woo?

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I had no desire to get used to / dependant upon the sleep drugs, so about a week ago I was able to sleep (including this weekend!) well enough without them. Rah!

Alas, not always. A rough night is fine if the next night you crash. I crashed on my OWN at 9pm last week. How impressive is that? Well, I was impressed.

Last two nights, not so great. But I'm getting better at finding ways to walk myself back into sleep and into dreams. Although yesterday I kept waking up, without finding the deep sleep I needed.

Therefore, drugs tonight :P

I *DO* know that I keep encountering this on days when I don't ride the horses -- no physical activity = restless nights.

Which means I really NEED to drug myself those nights :( bleah.

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The other night, sleep didn’t happen easily and it was painful to get up. Literally. My back isn’t relaxing as much during sleep, so it’s a knot when I wake.

Now, last night I knew I was weary but afraid of NOT sleeping. Plus I was half-buzzing with odd energy and my left calf was crapping. So I took Excedrin PM.

Oooo! That worked! I barely remember trying to fall asleep and woke up pretty decently this morning. Yay! Going to try that tonight, since I need to be at the barn about 8:30am or so. Wubba. Must remember to dress warmly....

Current Mood:
happy happy
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I was IN BED by 9:30pm last night. I had only a bit left in the current book I was reading, so I was done and light off by 10pm. I was EXCITED to get this much sleep, woo!

So I spend some time trying to fall asleep. Rolled over. 11:18pm. Sigh. Blinked. 12:30am. Crap.

1:34 am

3:13 am

4:45 am

5:10 am

6:30 am

7:29 am

.... ARGH! so much for that :P

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So it's not been as good sleep as needed lately. Lemme amend. *I* have not been as good about sleeping. Too many book/dvd addictions keeping me up ;) darned Medium episodes on dvd!

I have also read and finished more books in the last few weeks than I have ALL year. Which is good/bad. Good since I'd really gotten too busy to read, but bad because I've been ODing as a result (opps).

I can't always unwind enough to sleep -- I'm still taking a half hour or more to get there. Unfun? yes. But it works better than it did before.

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Now, waking up? *groan* hellish. I sleepily talk myself out of it. I have NO ONE to answer to as to when I work except myself and really... this weekend I'm going to put so much time in, I have no guilt if today is not exactly 8.0 hours work. work work work all weekend. BLEAH.

I'll see how next week goes -- GOOD weather, want good pony time in there :)

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Good weekend, but ARGH!

1. slept way too much or rather, had not enough energy. The amount I slept is rather frightful. Also explains the staying up way too late at night part. But still, that didn't add up for all the hours spend passed out in bed or on the sofa.

A bit, I admit, has to do with the fact that

2. I'm broken :P danged back cramping up, I'd decide to sleep and see if I'd relax enough for it to be better when I awoke. This worked on saturday! not so much on Sunday :(

bah. So not as much done, today all my 'awake' hours will be at work. Ponies this evening and then home to toss a bunch of stuff into the dumpster and keep unpacking until I crash, I guess?

I *want* to wake up early and do some stuff before work and/or get in early so I have afternoon hours free and and and....

but dangit. It's so NICE to just lay in bed until I wake up at 9 or 10 or whenever :)

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